There Aren’t Enough Clown Names

Just who are these people? I have spent a couple of weeks trying to discern the answer to this question. I’m sorry to say that even with what I consider judicious scrutiny, the “people’ who are running are government are seriously lacking in almost every way. We are led by a pack of freaks, and if they were sitting next to you on a park bench ( not that they would because none of them would willingly get that close to you unless you’re a lobbyist or prostitute, or both) you would quickly get up, check your wallet, and then douse yourself with hand sanitizer.

I find myself seriously wondering what the heck is going on. How did any of these weirdos get elected to what should be a very serious undertaking? It’s like being in the elevator with a dude that has really bad hairplugs. You’re thinking, ” Does homie have a mirror at home? How could he not know he looks like a Ken-Doll with half of its hair pulled out?” Well, not only does homie not know, he thinks you’re looking because he’s so hot. If you’ve never known someone who is truly deluded, look no further than Washington D.C..

When was the last time you saw a real person run for office? Off the top of my head I can think of just a couple of examples…. and if I’m not mistaken, none of them win. And if they do win, they are quickly pulled aside by the David Axelrods and Karl Roves of the world and told just where to squat and push. And if they can’t play ball, you say? Well then my guess is a photo of them in bed with a dead girl or live boy, or both, show up in the New York Times. And no, Anthony Weiner and Elliot Spitzer have not been set up, they’re just run-of-the-mill power mad sleazebags.

Let’s say you’re a blue collar guy or gal, you work hard, you pay your taxes, you try to follow most of the rules. Your Grandpa voted democrat, he was a good guy, so you do too. Besides, you’ve been told just how much these guys care about you….heck, they can really relate. Let’s take a look at a couple of these down to earth reps for the little guy ( and just hold on repubs, your paragraph comes next ). Let’s start with someone we all know, Nancy Pelosi. The Democrat Representative from California has a net worth of at least 24 Million Dollars. This includes a swanky California Vineyard that sells roughly half a million bucks worth of grapes every year. Yes, Nationalized Healthcare advocates, your champion could easily pay you and your family’s medical expenses forever off of the interest her dough makes. On to another stalwart of the little guy, or I should say gal, because everyone associates this next winner with Women’s Rights. It’s Senator Dianne Feinstein, Democrat from California, who is worth somewhere in the neighborhood of 41 Million dollars. And irony of ironies, her hubby is Dick Blum…. Prez and CEO of Blum Capital Partners LP, you know, one of those really evil private equity firms. Another prime example is of course the unflappable Senator Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia. He’s sliding into home this year with a net worth of about 83 Million. I’ve been to West Virginia, and I’m pretty sure that’s more Cheese than everyone else in the state put together. And here’s the really funny part. Most of that cheddar comes from family oil money. I’d be laughing if I could afford it.

But hold on there you so called “conservatives”….. I have a couple of examples for you too. You’ve seen alot of this guy on CSPAN lately, and he’s all vim, vigor and hair dye. It’s Darrell Issa, Republican Senator from California. He’s rollin’ Oprah style with at least 350 Million under the mattress. Hey, I thought California was broke? I’m sure out of good conscience all of these Statesmen and Women from Cali are stuffing their tax forms full of extra cash to help out the common peeps who pay the huge taxes levied on them in the Promised Land. Don’t hold your breath California, even though it would help the environment ’cause your exhale is now considered a pollutant, halitosis or no. Next stop, Senator Bob Corker, Republican from Tennessee. This good ‘ole boy from the Volunteer State is worth at least 16 million. I know people from Tennessee, and I’m pretty sure his bank account does not represent the average citizen of the state. Round it out with this year’s big loser, Rep. Michael McCaul, Republican from Texas. See, last year he was pulling about 300 million give or take, and he lost half of it. Now he’s only got 114 million to fall back on. Man, I bet there’s some sleepless nights at his estate wondering how he’s gonna keep the family fed. Guess it’s nothin’ but Hamburger Helper and Ramen Noodles for you, buddy. The only advantage the R’s have in this is at least they’re not on TV daily talking about how they can relate to the guy working the MickeyDee’s drivethru.

And let’s not forget the Executive Branch. Barry and Michelle are worth at least 11 million, respectively. For those under 25 enrolled in college, that’s about 22 million collectively. Just for kicks I wanted to work in John Kerry and his wife, Teresa, only because he’s getting by with about 194 million and she’s banking roughly 200 Million. Can you even imagine having that kind of money? And just why do any of these people actually work in government? Normal folks would probably take it easy after a ship like that comes in, but if your goal is true power, you know, the power to control all of us like pawns on a chessboard, you gotta keep goin’, man. Or maybe you are so deluded by your Party Affiliation that you just keep on defending your guy,’cause you think admitting that you’ve been suckered would be a huge blow to your ego. Or maybe, just maybe, you actually think they believe in what they’re selling. That they DO want to help you, that you do have an advocate in government. That they want “free” healthcare for you, or “clean” water and air. Or that they want you to be successful and prosperous, and to be able to achieve their level of wealth and power. If I just described you, then pardon me while I endlessly laugh and cry at the same time. Because not only do you have serious thinking problems, you are feeding the fleas and ticks that suck the lifeblood out of what was created by better men than we currently have in Washington.

Because no matter the Party, no matter the Cause, it’s a game to all of these Senators, Representatives, Presidents and Appointees. And you wanna know something? We don’t ever win. That’s why I prefer to think of it as a circus. A circus that has nothing but Clowns. The only problem I can see is…… There aren’t enough Clown Names.

( Thanks to CQ Roll Call and Celebrity Net Worth for my Net Worth figures )

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