The New Rome is Burning, So Where’s My Fiddle?

46 murders have taken place in Chicago so far this month ( thanks, redeyechicago ). Just a brief glance at the age, race, and circumstance show a less-than-shocking similarity. Victims range from being teenagers to young people in their twenties and thirties. Where is the Leader of the Free World? No comment? Last time I checked the guy who America elected to take more taxpayer funded vacations than anyone in history was from there. Or lived there. Or maybe went to college there. Or organized there. Well… I’m pretty sure he was there for awhile. Somebody had to vote “present” instead of yes or no at all those important Illinois state senate debates. Couldn’t all those victims have been his son? Or himself? Because, you know, if it wasn’t for the swanky, ritzy, private school-in-paradise experience that our Chief grew up with, any one of those victims coulda been him. Nothing says “from the Hood” like polo shirts, tennis clubs, fruity cocktails, and an educational resume that includes words like “academy”.

See, I don’t really care that much about the whole Zimmerman/Martin thing. All I know is that regardless of all the how and why of it, anyone who has ever been beat up understands. If you’ve never had another human being decide to sit on you and start your blood flowing with multiple blows to the face, shut up. Getting your ass kicked is a pretty scary experience, and if it’s never happened to you then you don’t know what you would do, or how you would react. Also, if your first reaction to some dumpy douchebag following you while you skulk around a neighborhood in the dark is to break their face open and then sit down to do some more, you’ve got some issues as well. So let’s move beyond the Nancy Grace hysterics, shall we?

My point is this : The world is on fire. And not just a little brush fire, either. More like a Germany-about-to-invade-Poland fire.
Like a break-out-the-marshmallows-cause-Hiroshima’s-on fire- fire. And where is the cool, calm and collected dude who’s claims to lower the seas and bring peace to the middle east? On vacation? Yakking it up at a $30,000 a plate fundraiser? Or on vacation. Again? Maybe this time the First Family will keep it to the mean streets of Martha’s Vineyard. ” Muffy, we’re all out of Pinot! The hyooomahniteee!”.

Egypt is a complete mess. But why, you ask? Didn’t we support the “Arab Spring”? By the way, that sounds like a really bad personal hygiene product. I’ve gotten a whiff of it and it really stinks. It smells like civil war in Syria, military coups in Egypt, expanding Iranian power, and the devolving of Turkey into an Islamic State.

Not to mention what’s happening here on the home front. Did you know that just a few short years ago there was 1 Trillion dollars in circulation, and today there is over 3? Can you wrap your brain around that? So, is your gas/groceries/rent/ more expensive, or is your hard-earned money worth a third of what it was? Guess what, it’s both…… and it hasn’t even hit us hard yet. Hey twenty-somethings, thanks to your power at the voting booth you now have to buy health insurance! Oh… you don’t need it or want it? Too freakin’ bad kiddos, cause you can either buy it or pay an ever-increasing fine! See, someone has to pay for the rest of our “free” healthcare, and it’s you. I got to spend all my money in my twenties on concert tickets and good times, because I was healthy and didn’t need or even think about insurance. On top of that, all those nifty ADHD and depression drugs you’ve been swallowing your whole life will follow you like a pickpocket in a foreign country. Good luck with that first serious job interview when your history of teary, sad, bed wetting that your folks got you medicated for shows up. Sweet!

But hey, don’t feel bad…. Jay-Z is doing a concert in the White House, LeBron’s getting warmed up on the private b-ball court, Bon Jovi’s bringing dinner, and Oprah is gonna say grace. Because that’s how all of us, including at-risk inner city kids, roll. I’m so glad we have a real outsider in charge, you know? At least he can relate. And hey, when the lights go out, don’t worry. We’ll keep warm by the light of the fire. Where’s my fiddle?

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